Chances are….

More Diabetes Daily Aug 22, 2011, 6:58 pm

Chances are the path I am traveling is well worn. That at some point in time some lost and wayward soul has found him or her self there. A little disillusioned, worn out, confused and questioning.

Chances are that I’m harder on myself than you will ever be. That I have asked myself “Should you be eating that?” a hundred times before you ever mouthed the words. That the fears of further complications from living with a chronic illness have never left my mind. That fear and loathing grip me at each fingerstick….

Chances are that you have read all the literature on diabetes. That you can quote all the statistics. That you know all of the potential complications. That you’ve studied the connection between diabetes and depression. That you’ve campaigned long and hard for increased awareness…

Chances are that you’ve called out to me. That you’ve seen the end of my chosen road and tried to stop me. That  you too have made bad choices and suffered cruel consequences. That life has dealt you more bad hands than me. That you spend more of your lucid life contemplating the past than enjoying the present. That every song on the radio brings back some unpleasant memory….

Chances are you have spent countless hours in medical rooms. That you too can recite every eye chart in your Opthalmologists office from memory. That you know every imperfection in the decor at your PCPs office. That your medical file is thicker than a car manual. That illness, injury and pain seem to follow you around…across the street, down the road and through every day…

Chances are that today will bring back more hurt from the past. That at any random moment the weight of the past will catch up with you in the present. That tears will flow like rain from your reddened eyes and fresh doubts grip your breaking heart. That the uncertainty of the future will strike you afresh and cast shadows on any long term plans…

Chances are that I don’t need answers. I am not interested in being told what … Read the Rest

Tags: chances, past, present, memory, office, medical, life, diabetes, myself, worn, complications, illness, grip, road,