The Naked Truth

More Dorkabetic Aug 4, 2011, 10:58 pm

I do try to keep my blogging, for the most part, relatively safe for work.  In today’s post, I am going to talk about nudity and other subjects as an adult.  If that’s not safe for your work, well, you best read this at home.  Same goes for any kiddos out there–this one is probably at least rated PG-13 for mature themes and nakedness!

I was applying makeup with a girlfriend (we’ll call her S) on Saturday in preparation for another friend’s 30th birthday bash.  The theme our friend had chosen was “Topless Tapas”.  Now, I’m sure there are not a lot of us out there who have ever been to a topless or clothing-optional party before.  Before Saturday, I was one of these people, but I have some very progressive friends.  In between critiquing our choices of eyeshadow colors, S confessed something to me. 

“I’m feeling really self-conscious,” she said.  “I’m fat, and I’ve got bumps, and scars, and stretch marks, and I managed to get this stupid zit between my boobs.  I don’t really know how I feel about doing this, y’know?”

I spoke some encouraging words about how my own body is decidedly not perfect, and everyone at the party has very different body types, weights, skin types, and levels of fuzziness.  (Seriously, folks, my most Papa Bear-esque friend was not the hairiest boy at the party by a longshot.)

All the while, I was silently weighing my own thoughts about baring some or all of my body to the whole room.  I am plus-sized and busty, but I have narrow hips and my ass is kind of round-ish and kind of flat-ish at the same time.  I have a massive appendectomy scar.  I’m quite pale.  My ankles have a fun hobby of swelling up all the damn time.  Oh yeah, also I’m a cyborg with an always-connected tube somewhere on my abdomen, red marks from old sites, gray patches where adhesive just hasn’t quite washed off in the … Read the Rest

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